Are You Waiting for a Sign?

The ego wants something dramatic.

What is that ever-elusive sign I’m waiting for?

When I feel fearful, vulnerable, or insecure, my ego uses a trick to amplify my doubts. It prompts me to seek yet another “sign” that I’m on the right path. It wants something dramatic, like a “cloud angel” in the bright blue sky or a random call from Hay House saying they noticed my blog and want to publish me. Usually, these validations don’t appear, which gives my ego more power to persuade.

For example, regarding my writing, ego suggests that what I desire is trivial, self-centered vanity. It insists that being a writer is merely an illusion I’ve created to feel “purposeful." It claims there’s no worthwhile desire to pursue here, leading to wasted time and energy on things no one cares to read.

Then I feel even worse. Discouragement and hopelessness add to the mix of negative emotions. “Where are my guides?" I ask the empty space in front of me.

I try to meditate, but it feels futile, so I focus on sitting with the negative feelings and letting them simply be.

After a few minutes, I gain insight.

Suddenly, as I close my eyes, I see an image—more like a “Cathy” comic strip. A confused woman who looks a lot like me sits on the floor, bewildered. “Give me a sign!” she shouts into the text bubble above her head in desperation.

Surrounding her is a tower of words, experiences, and emotions. They engulf her so much that she must push them aside to look up to the sky and demand this desperate prayer.

Her prayer goes nowhere.

As I look more closely at the piles she has dismissed, I notice poems, journals, and notes, all filled with beautiful words:

Inspiration

Motivation

Soul Expressions

Freedom

Joy—so much Joy!

Love

Expansion

Connection to Source

They keep going on and on: the joyful feelings, the creativity, the expansive ideas, the boundless sense of freedom and connection. Meanwhile, she sits unaware, looking up and feeling abandoned.

I suddenly realize how she has let her fear serve as her excuse for abandoning herself.

Thank You Guidance!

I breathe deeply as this insight settles in. My compassion for myself grows stronger. I look down at my soul's words, feelings, and truths. My “why” gently returns. I feel grateful and start again.

Reflection on this journal entry:

Although we always have access to guidance and support, we only truly receive it when we are calm and trusting. When we are filled with fear, frustration, or our ego demands, we experience even more frustration. Insight emerges through stillness. Our guidance is often subtle and not flashy. Still, when we encounter a particularly joyful synchronicity or what feels like a miracle, it always brings feelings of happiness and delight.