Is Time Your Enemy?

Beneath my appreciation, time was causing me significant stress.

My morning routine, on a good day when I have no other commitments, includes meditation, yoga, and a hot shower—all to loosen my shoulders from my ears and unclench my jaw. I generally feel relaxed and go with the flow throughout the day. Still, sometimes at night (usually around 4 am), my body tenses up again, undoing the effort I’ve made to stay relaxed during the day. This phenomenon is often called subconscious stress. That’s a frustrating term. What could be happening in my subconscious that I am unaware of on a conscious level?

As a committed student of spiritual self-help techniques, I decided to seek guidance.

I listened to my inner voice, asked the question, and trusted that the answer would arrive at the right time when I was ready to face it. Sure enough, the insight came a day or two later while I was making breakfast. Somewhere between washing the blueberries and brewing the coffee, I realized I was caught in a struggle between the passage of time and the present moment. Not consciously, of course. I love and value my time, but its speed often feels overwhelming.

Time Is A Wild Child

Beneath my appreciation, time was causing me significant stress. I am always trying to control it somehow. Time is like a wild child, doing whatever it pleases, and I can’t stop it, tame it, or even hold onto it, as it keeps moving forward. I’ve viewed time as a dwindling, precious resource that seems to diminish more each day, each hour, and each moment that slips away. As a result, I sometimes try to hoard it, use it productively, and, worst of all, waste it. I also fear it because, as I age,

I realize I have no idea how much of it remains in my allotment. I can’t, and don’t want to, know how much I have left.

No matter what, it’s moving faster, and trying to use it productively feels pointless, adding stress to my enjoyment. I realize I’ve made time both the boss and the opponent I’m racing against—a race I can’t win. Even if I finish everything I want before my time runs out, is that more important than how I feel along the way? Of course not. This has been my theme since The Now first found me 30 years ago. Since then, I’ve faithfully pursued its secrets, glimpsing deeper layers of its wisdom as I go through life. There’s plenty of joy, love, and a lot of insight and inspiration. I cherish these precious moments of presence.

Yet in the dark corners of my mind, I have always struggled against time, which has affected my ability to surrender and fully embrace the present. I even wrote a poem titled The Soldiers from the Now.

Making Friends With Time

This epiphany has shifted my perspective. I've let go of my end of the rope in this pointless tug-of-war. It’s a game I will never win, and it actually keeps me from fully relaxing. I’ve decided to embrace the flow of time. I’ve welcomed its currents and made it my friend. I’ll rest in its rivers and let it carry me through all the small and big moments of experience. All the Now moments are its lifeblood. Each one is precious, and they are all part of the One. Time is my vehicle to experience them in this lifetime. It is the precious gift through which we navigate. I’ve stopped building dams, flailing my arms, and chosen to enjoy the ride—whatever the duration.