Articles Written by Wendy Mackowski: Success Tips

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Wendy Mackowski
has earned the Certification as a Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) after completing two years of training from The Coaches Training Institute. Wendy has also written many articles on various life & business coaching topics.

Stress: The Ins and Outs Of Beating It!

by Wendy Mackowski, Inner North Coaching

We live in a society that seems stressed out the majority of the time. Why is that? We have all the latest amenities to make our lives easier, yet with each new invention life seems to get more hectic. I'd like to spend just a few minutes on what I see as the two types of stress, and how knowing the difference can be the first step in finding more ease in your life.

Outer Stress: We all have many external circumstances that can cause us stress--our jobs (having one or not having one), having our own business, relationships (having one or not having one), traffic, money pressures, children, parents, clients (having or not having), big exams, lines at the airport, illness (ours and others),...and much, much more!

Inner Stress: We also have many internal stresses which we create all by ourselves--worry, negative self-talk, self-imposed deadlines, performance anxiety, perfectionism, fear of what others will think, fear of failure, negative view of the world, negative fantasizing . . . you get the idea--pretty much stuff we make up around worry and fear.

I bring this distinction up because I want to point out that there are two sources of stress, internal and external, and that it's good to be aware of which ones you are dealing with. Let me also point out that they are both absolutely real and the toll from prolonged stress from either source is basically the same: health problems, various types of symptoms, and quality of life--happiness and joy--substantially reduced.

Noticing which type of stress you are feeling can help you with managing it. For instance, many of the external stresses are intensified because they set off an internal stress. Say you are having money problems. This is a tangible stress--not enough money to pay the bills. Looking at the reality of tangible stresses and then working on what you can do about them can relieve stress around them. However, what happens a lot is, that external stress triggers the internal stresses and off we go--negative fantasizing that we will lose everything, negative self talk where we blame ourselves, call ourselves names, feel stupid, etc. These intangible fears and worries then become BIGGER than the original stress and actually impede our ability to solve the original problem. By noticing what the real source of your stress is, you can then work on ways to deal with it. Is it tangible or is it an intangible fear or worry that has you so uptight? Sometimes it's both at the same time. Once you identify not only the external stressor, but also the internal dialogue surrounding it, you can begin to develop strategies for dealing with the internal process as well as the external one.

Wendy Mackowski, a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, lives in Orange County, California and is the owner of Inner North Coaching. For more information about coaching, sign up for Wendy's free email newsletter, or permission to reprint this story, contact Wendy.

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