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 Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) after completing two years of training from The Coaches Training Institute. Wendy has also written many articles on various life & business coaching topics.

 

Beyond Goal Setting

by Wendy Mackowski, Inner North Coaching

So here it is almost a month out from all those New Years Resolutions! How are we doing? As a coach I spend a lot of time with people on creating and reaching their goals. After all, isn't that one of the main reasons people hire a coach--to support them in getting to the next level in whatever it is they are doing in their life, their business or career? Absolutely! But there is so much more. The more I work with people the more I learn about what is involved in reaching your goals or not reaching them. Let me share a little of what I've learned with you.

Here are a few things I've observed that get in the way of achieving what you want:

Goals are set by your inner–critic rather than your authentic self: This is a huge one. This is what I find for a lot of my clients. They come to me with a goal to reach a particular level in their business. As we begin to work through what is in their way--the fears, the inner critic, etc. and then begin also to create a vision of what they want, identifying their values and what is fulfilling for them--it becomes apparent that there is a conflict between the two. Many times we set goals based on what other people think we should do, or on what success "should" look like. And then find the process of working towards that goal to be filled with unrest and conflict.

Many times our inner-critic is doing the goal setting. This is especially true for people who have gone into business for themselves. They left corporate jobs because they wanted more freedom or flexibility only to find their inner-critic is worse than any boss they ever worked for! Learning to align your goals with what is truly important to yourself, not your inner-critic is the only way to gain true success.

Fears are in the way: We all know about this one. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown--these are but a few of the things that feed our inner- critic and keep us from moving forward.

Goals are unclear: You haven't taken the time to really define what it is you want, write it down, or create a plan to get there. The goals are more like "wishes" that live in your head with "someday maybe" attached to them. Always somewhere in the future when something else is taken care of first.

Goals are too big or small: Maybe your goals are unrealistic. Even you yourself don't remotely believe you could get them. You can say affirmations daily that you'd like to be independently wealthy, but if you really don't see yourself being capable of achieving that, and it's too overwhelming to break down into a plan, then it probably isn't going to happen. Conversely, if you have a goal so small it doesn't inspire or stretch you at all, then it won't hold any energy and will quickly be forgotten.

Priorities Change: Sometimes this means your priorities have really shifted and what you initially had as a top priority has really become secondary. That's fine and what's important is consciously knowing that is what's happened so you can make different choices without guilt or feelings of failure.

Life gets in the way. This, however, is different than the one above. In this scenario you aren't doing what you set out to do because you are letting day-to-day stuff interfere. There could be lots of reasons for this, but basically you have that nagging feeling of guilt and failure and frustration because the choices you are making are more unconscious than conscious and aren't aligned with your priorities.

So take another look at those New Years Resolutions that you haven't been keeping up with. Run them by the list above and see if it strikes a cord. Consider the option of coaching. It's a wonderful way to help you create a structure, a support system, and get feedback and accountability that will help you reach those important goals. Even with all those wonderful attributes, in my opinion the biggest gift of coaching is clarity. With clarity you can begin to really know when you are working on the right things. And with clarity comes a peace about what you are doing and the ability to truly enjoy the journey along the way!

Wendy Mackowski, a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, lives in Orange County, California and is the owner of Inner North Coaching. For more information about coaching, sign up for Wendy's free email newsletter, or permission to reprint this story, contact Wendy.

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